Maji: Ameen to your duas!

Manu: Of course. Which is why I discussed their words & actions, not hearts.

Warmly,
Baraka

Remember no one truely knows what is in ones heart except Allah

cheers :)
Friend

Outside of your family the general population will accept him Inshallah but again its upto all of us as to how much of a muslim we become. Are we a said the shadah muslim or are we a 3 salaah a day muslim, a 5 salah a day muslim or All salaah and follow the sunnah muslim? ete. We are all muslims but how much of a beleiver are we? In the end respect and honour are in the hands of ALlah inshallah the more we become firm and estblished in our religions regardless of whether we are convert or born in to it, Inshallah Allah will raise our status in both worlds and grant us a life of peace in both worlds.

Salaams. May Allah make Basils way on ISlam Easy. (Ameen)

EM: It’s hard to predict what kind of affect ingrained community suspicion will have on individual converts. Everyone reacts differently. As you can see by Basil’s comment, it slips off him like water meeting a duck.

But, for others it is truly hurtful and the idea of not being accepted and welcomed may lead, with other factors, to them leaving Islam.

This attitude toward converts is not limited to Islam – I’ve read that Jewish converts are often received with suspicion too although they require intensive study before conversion and rabbinical teaching frowns upon the convert ever being reminded of the fact that they are a convert.

But rules are one thing, and people’s behavior another.

Giving the benefit of the doubt and supporting converts in their sincerity and their journey is a good place to start for everyone involved.

Sabiwabi: While the conversion of convenience was not something I wanted and while it does not always work for others, I have seen a few cases where the spouse who converted eventually developed a real affection and sincere practice of Islam.

I’m glad that things worked out well for you and your husband, mash’Allah! :)

Sumaiya: May Allah make it easy for you! It can be hard to live with the anxiety before one’s potential mate decides to take the shahada.

I agree, God chooses to lead us to Him as He wills: Sometimes through love for a Muslim (whether a spouse or by reading about the Prophet, peace and blessings upon him), and in many other ways.

I can only say that my relationship with Basil has brought me closer to Allah than I ever imagined I would be before marriage. Alhamdolillah.

As Muslims we have to learn to be more embracing of the many and sincere ways that people find Islam and God in their hearts.

He is vaster than we imagine.

Warmly,
Baraka

Converting for the sake of a marriage, I believe, is something that is doomed to fail. Totally opposed to it.

Even more startling was a young man of Indian heritage who fell in love and converted to Islam from Christianity in highschool, who travelled in the Middle East and studied Islam and waited for years before he was able to marry the young woman of Indian heritage he had fallen in love with in highschool. Who faced much discrimination from other Muslims about his conversion. YET, when he and I encountered a young man non-Muslim man of Caribbean heritage who wanted to learn more about Islam and was, at the time, in love with a young Muslim woman, my brother privately expressed great concern to me about this young Caribbean man’s intentions being insincere–that he was only interested in converting to marry.

After everything he went through–for him to behave like that with this other man–I didn’t know what to make of it! On the one hand, he might have been right since the young Caribbean man disappeared after speaking with us about converting a few times. It may have been, however, that he disappeared after he saw how hostile and suspicious my brother’s treatment of him was…I don’t know.

Yahya: Glad there’s someone out there who understands. May we have patience with the questioners, insh’Allah!

Dawood: I’m glad to hear that your MiL has realized how wrong her initial impressions were. Alhamdolillah, in most cases where people got to know Basil they too rectified any initial negative actions or statements they may have done/said.

Tim: I’m glad that most of your local Muslim community is welcoming. Let’s hope the vocal minority sorts themselves out too, insh’Allah!

Max: I think deep down a lot of cultural/born muslims have a dirty secret: they’re not convinced by all the hype that Islam is the most beautiful religion in the world…

Bang on in your usual succinct manner MM!

Basil has definitely been met with a lot of incredulity that he would voluntarily chose a “restrictive” religion in such a permissive society and has often been told by born Muslims that they don’t think they would have done the same given the choice.

That says a lot for the type of Islam they are being exposed to, as well as how difficult it can be when everything in religion seems to be “No” and everything in society seems to be “YES, please!”

But, as he tells born Muslims who tell him that it’s incredible that he chose Islam, “You chose Islam too. We each do, every day.”

In Islam we don’t have a single ritual of actively choosing one’s faith like a communion or bat mitzvah. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why our declaration of faith is woven into our prayers, so that we can consciously choose it on a daily basis.

Mezba: Basil has many different feelings about it, but always handles the questioner with greater patience and grace than I do.

As someone who speaks Urdu where he does not, I understand the implied rebukes or judgments of certain questions and so can be somewhat protective or defensive of him.

Generally though, I step back to let him handle situations as he wishes, and if he has time perhaps he will chime in here too as he did on the original post.

AMM: It’s a major issue in the community right now, especially as more women begin looking beyond Muslim circles for spouses.

Darvish: Alhamdolillah and thank you dear brother Irving! You of all people understand that we are called to the Beloved in many different ways, some through marriage, some through reflection, some through a teacher, and many through a combination of factors. He calls us to Him as He wills.

Willow: You’re welcome – thanks for reading/commenting!

Warmly,
Baraka