Delicious Desi Aunties 13 May 2008
Posted by Baraka in BARAKA, Culture, Humor.trackback
MadhubalaI will never have a washboard-flat stomach no matter how many sit-ups I do. And these hips are here to stay.
I can’t help it, I’m Punjabi.
I recently saw a photo of fortysomething Demi Moore and a TV advert for some torturous exercise contraption featuring a 50-year old woman (or “grandmother” as they kept calling her). They both had bony bodies and tight faces as they strutted in their scanties. It made me droop with exhaustion thinking of the standards they represented as normal for the average woman and as desirable to the average man.
When is it going to be OK for a girl to become a woman who fills out and ages?
Remember film legends Sridevi and Babra Sharif who enticed us to follow them over the green hills of Bollywood and Lollywood screens? They wore clothes that enhanced and hugged their womanly figures and millions adored their voluptuous beauty.
It used to be that South Asian girls had busts and hips, and, in fact, lived in the hopes of developing them. They filled out a sari or shalvar kameez properly. They saw Mughal miniatures, temple carvings, homegrown actresses and models, and heck, the Aunties all around them and knew that buxom beauty lay within their reach. Nay, it was their genetic destiny.
But that was before the Murdochization of South Asia and the accompanying pre-adolescent body ideal invasion. Although certainly not as bad as the Kate Moss rage in the West, desi women from the silver screen on down are feeling the pinch as they try to squeeze themselves into smaller and smaller sizes in the hopes of disappearing altogether.
Bony socialites and models are “in”, slim beauty queens (differentiated slightly by skin color) compete for international titles, actresses retire just so that they can finally eat, and everyone is perpetually on a diet or exercise machine – often simultaneously. And to have a bust now is simply passé.
But, it wasn’t so long ago that a little extra weight delighted everyone and was termed “healthy”:
“Pinkie? Yes, I saw her yesterday. She’s become so healthy, nah!”
Give me the good old days when a woman dug into her parathas with relish. When Lollywood Punjabi film heroine Anjuman frolicked like a baby elephant around mustachioed, bloodshot-eyed, and even-larger Sultan Rahi. When a girl relaxed into fertile belly posture immediately after marriage out of sheer relief to have got all that over with.
Remember delicious desi aunties? The ones who elbowed you out of the way as they attacked wedding buffet tables with zeal? You can see them on the video afterwards, setting their plates on their stomachs (which double as tables) and throwing gnawed bones over their shoulders with abandon and little concern for the video cameras.
They trumpet their solidity, they refuse to disappear, and they revel in maintaining their deliciousness with the deep satisfaction of offering the world that much more of themselves to love.
Delicious desi aunties still exist everywhere in spite of skinny desi “blondes”. And I’ll tell you a little secret: they exist inside of you. You can huff and puff on those machines and deny yourself the dosa but somewhere along the way you too will embrace and celebrate your genetic destiny – just as Sridevi and Babra did.
- Originally posted in Rickshaw Diaries
Do I love you for this post?! I have the genetic destiny of an Egyptian and a Pakistani – you should see MY hips!
hear hear! ;)
well, there’s no need tod evelop stomachs which can double as tables, but um, hearhear to the rest of it. :)
As always, Baraka, I love your writing because the foreign feels so familiar to me. However, I had a very disappointing experience shopping with my sisters-in-law this weekend up on Devon here in Chicago this weekend. She’s as delicious as you describe but just short of being able to use her stomach as a table. :-) I had hoped we would find acceptance for her beauty while finding an outfit for my brother’s Punjabi wedding this weekend. We were met by shopkeepers who said, “We won’t have that in her size.” Finally, the beautiful proprietress of Resham’s helped us with kindness, a gorgeous sari and assurances that she will be beautiful amidst all the aunties. Was it because we’re American (even in the company of our Indian sister-in-law)? I long for the world you describe and feel a little bitten by our actual experience.
Love it!
Salaams Dear:
Oh, I love it, too!
Oh my GOD. Why didn’t I read this BEFORE I went to the gym today? I totally would have said the hell with it and dug into that naan/salaan in the fridge with pleasure. Now I’m sitting here post-workout tired and miffed. Wonderful post Baraka! :)
woh kiya hai, lurki zara moti hi honi chahiye…
saath ho to, desi lurke ko ’security’ ka aehsas rehta hai !!
Assalam-alaikam Barakah,
love this post. How can I not love a post that mentions Anjuman in it (I think I have seen every one of her films). There’s defo no running away from the Punjabi in you either – you’re GOING to get bigger AND louder no matter what.
You’re right about the “Murdochization of South Asia “, 10 years ago in Pakistan I used to get asked what was wrong with me, why I was so skinny, now me and my sisters get asked how we stay slim. You can also see that most of the women on Pakistani TV have the severest collar bones ever.
Long live delicious desi aunties I guess.
Salaam Dearest Sister :)
An excellent ode to the Mae West aunties we all remember and love :)
Skinny is overrated.
Ya Haqq!
Salaams dear friends,
You all crack me up with your responses! :)
Rebecca, you’re right. Where desi women had a fair-skinned, plumper image to live up to before, they now have a super-skinny, fair-skinned ideal in its place.
Women are under pressure in every culture to reach an idealized standard, which changes just enough to keep us hopping and unhappy. Accepting one’s body in a healthy and loving manner remains an act of revolution.
Warmly,
Baraka
Yes, and rebecca’s right, you know. Shopping on Main Boulevard in Lahore, I could NOT find anything in my size (a mere M-L). Barely a thing. The girls are losing their boobs, it seems. Skinniness has become the new god. What’s the point!
And when you get clothes tailored, it seems that the tailors are zubaan-e-haal se forcing you to fit into 2 sizes smaller than what you are. Loose? everyone asked me. Are you SURE? Don’t you want it TIGHT?
Assalaamu aleykum ukhti,
I must be a desi auntie at heart because I am not meant to be thin. Ever. Ever ever ever. A size four was pre-puberty to me. Now these hips are not meant to fit into anything less than a size 16, I am sure. I was so happy when shopping for jilbabs and abayas to see that I actually fit into a medium for the first time ever in years! Alhamdulillah for clothes that are meant to fit women with actual bodies.
Anyway, shukran for this wonderful post! It’s a good reminder about what is really important…and that is not obsessing about fixing what Allah gave us.
Baraka! gosh what can i say.. just like take a sigh of relief that we can have this discussion and say hey u know what i like my extra pounds and i’m happy i dont have to be counting my calories all the time. Its so exhausting to be living with this pressure that we have to be a stick.. actually just at the begining of the month i had made a resolution that i’m going to be a stick… i’ll work my ass off.. but u know what… whatever really!!! I mean yes for health reasons of course you do have to exercise but to have this constant pressure to have no extra piece of meat on ur body is too much… Its just great to have aunties comment on my body that how guys these days want skinny girls and ofcourse whose counting the flab on their sons or their own bodies haha. insanity really…
mashaAllah. I loved this post. Here’s to delicious aunties!!! w00 w00
May we all become one someday. ;)
howr u sweet kya hall hai aap ka gee